Something big happened on Valentine’s Day.
My body image has fluctuated quite a bit over the years. In middle school I was teased for being too skinny. Which, I totally hate that that’s even a thing to say to someone. The only time anyone should ever refer to another human being as too skinny or too fat is if they are an unhealthy weight and are genuinely concerned for that persons well-being.
After giving birth to my son, Roen, I felt uncomfortable in my skin, understandably so. Breastfeeding and stroller walks helped take off the baby weight, and I eventually got back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but couldn’t get the extra flab off of my lower belly. If I could only take that skin and put it on my non-existent booty, I’d be golden! Anyway, somewhere between then and about a month ago, I lost all muscle tone and even though I looked skinny to others, I wasn’t healthy. In the past week, I’ve been told by a couple people that I look too skinny and that I need to eat more. It’s like middle school all over again! I blamed it on stress when responding to their comments, when the reality is, I don’t need to have an excuse. This is how my body is. I do my best to eat healthy but indulge when I have a craving, I go on daily walks, I do weekly workouts, I get enough sleep, etc.. I do everything the way society tells me I’m supposed to. But yet, to some, I’m still too skinny. I should take it as a compliment, because when I look down, I don’t see skinny. I see a stomach that needs toning, a butt that begs for me to add in some more squats to my workout routine, and thighs that don’t touch and yet are still unpleasing to me. Don’t even get me started on my boobs that have gone through over 500 days of nursing. My husband is more than generous with his compliments, but when you have an idea in your head about how you feel about yourself, it’s hard to accept what others see, or don’t see. Those comments of me looking an unhealthy weight have clearly stuck with me, and while they were in my mind on Sunday, I still managed to put on a bathing suit with my pasty white skin, and with my hair curled under my new hat, I looked in the mirror and felt good about what I saw. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I had nothing bad to say about myself. Isn’t that amazing that society has molded us into having an idea of what we’re supposed to look like that we begin picking at our own flaws that we might have not seen otherwise? And even though I feel like a million bucks over these pictures, these selfies, I know that others will find my flaws. And that’s okay, because last Sunday, February 14th, the day we’re supposed to feel loved, I realized that I’m capable of loving myself.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”
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I told you to stay tuned for my Valentine’s Day craft. Well, it wasn’t worthy of it’s own post, but I’ll show you anyway. I had this image in my head that it would come out looking Pinterest worthy, but, well, I think this can be added to Pinterest fails! I want to add that the fruit was much more fresh and vibrant looking in person, and it all tasted better than it looks!
Matt told me he wanted an edible arrangement for Valentine’s Day. In my attempt to save 50 bucks, I made my own. It’s the thought that counts, right? You probably don’t want a step-by-step how to on this wonderful creation of mine, so in summary, buy some fruit, roll it in some melted chocolate chips, put it on sticks, and throw it in a vase. Bam! Your very own edible arrangement at a fraction of the cost. If you dislike your mom, this is a perfect Mother’s Day gift 😉 Kidding. You can probably make it look better than mine. Considering I only cut myself once while cutting the pineapples into hearts, and completed it in 30 minutes at 10 o’clock at night, I’m pretty proud. Don’t worry though, I’ll stick to writing about my experiences and thoughts rather than showcasing my arts and crafts!