There are two types of people: A realist and a dreamer. Dating Matt, I soon discovered that he was a dreamer, and I loved the excitement in his eyes when discussing the possibilities in life, possibilities that I couldn’t imagine on my own, or rather, I wasn’t able to picture myself within those wild ideas. Mostly, Matt talked about different jobs he wanted to do, and he believed that he could do them. He didn’t have a five year plan, hell, he didn’t even have a one month plan, and that was okay with him, so it was okay with me too, until Roen came into the picture that is. I have never been a go-with-the-flow kinda girl. It doesn’t come naturally to me. In fact, it’s quite intimidating. I enjoy having a back-up plan and having the important details in my life figured out. Being a mom has helped with the simpler things, and I am more comfortable doing smaller tasks and adventures on a whim, however, if you asked me to drop everything for an all payed trip to Bora Bora starting tomorrow morning, I’d be hesitant to say yes, and a million questions would follow. Being a stay at home mom leaves me totally dependent on Matt, and that scares me. Not because I don’t trust that he can provide, because he has done an extraordinary job thus far, but because I constantly worry about the what ifs that are out of our control. I am a firm believer in prayer, but it would be too easy if God gave us the answer sheet to life, so instead, I usually pray for guidance rather than answers. So when Matt told me he wanted to start a food truck, and put his other dream of becoming a pro golfer on hold, among other aspirations, I was hesitant, but turned to prayer. Around this same time, we had been looking into moving to Tennessee, because, well the houses there are beautiful and dirt cheap, and because California passed this cute law telling me that I have to jab my son with ingredients that have never been studied in the combinations that they are given in, in a schedule that has also never been studied, or else he can’t go to school… I prayed about the move, and that same week Matt had a regular customer at his work offer him a great paying job, so we put a hold on moving. Months went by, and because of an unfortunate event within the company, the job that I so badly wanted Matt to take got pushed back again and again, and therefore, the food truck was also put on hold while we waited it out. When the job opportunity wasn’t looking too promising, we shifted gears back into moving to Tennessee, and this time we were diligently looking at places for rent, filling out applications. We were eager, and a little too hasty, since we have never actually been to Tennessee. I finally prayed a specific prayer, asking for specific signs. If you don’t believe in the power of prayer, then it probably sounds silly, but when God answered my prayer to the T, for me there was no denying His plan for us, which for now, is to stay in California and pursue the food truck. After two moves and a busy school schedule for me and work schedule for Matt, it’s been hard to put the food truck in motion this year, but I have hopped on board with my dreamer and we are motivated for this next step in our lives. Yes, the what ifs scare the hell out of me, but the what if you ask yourself for years to come if you don’t go for it is so much worse, and that’s the truth!
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.”
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”