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Mom So Hard

I’m currently sitting on the couch while my toddler has yet another TV dinner while watching Moana… for the 100th time. The baby is in the rocker just a foot away from me. Every time he moves, I go into a little panic at the thought of him going into a 2 and a half hour crying fit as he does every night. Tonight I actually got to eat dinner in peace as he slept through it. Not only did he sleep through it, but he slept without needing to be cuddled up in my arms. A rarity. Now my 3 year old has neglected his dinner plate and has started crawling over me to press buttons on my phone. The baby makes some sounds and starts to move around. The same panicky feeling runs through my body again. I check the time, only 4 hours until my husband is home to help me. The light at the end of the tunnel. The bottle of sangria that I got at Costco this morning is calling my name. If I time it right, I can have a glass and be safe to nurse. But this newborn is so unpredictable. He could wake up wailing for the boob at any second. So I wait. Plus, if I get up to pour myself a glass, I may never finish this post. So I sit here instead, as my three year old asks me for the 3rd time in five minutes if he can call Santa to tell him what he wants for Christmas, and I ask myself why I ever showed him the Santa hotline… and another panic, as I look up behind my phone to see the baby’s eyes WIDE. OPEN. Just a normal Friday evening here as I mom so hard. 😉

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